Heartstrings and Handouts

As I sip my tea on the patio of a corner café a young child holding a pack of tissues approaches me.  She wants me to buy them from her for 2 Durhams a pack.  I shake my head and turn my gaze away.  She asks again, pleading me to buy her last two packs of tissues.  I meet her scrutiny and softly reply, “sorry, no” in Arabic.

You may recall the post I did on Christmas in the 1% and the story about the girl selling tissues outside the Christmas tree display.  Heartstrings and Handouts is about these children, the homeless, the hungry, and the perception of an American.

The American:

America is known the world over.  What we are known can vary from country to country.  For many developing worlds they see Americans as the people who hand out money.  I might not scream American when I walk down the street (I try to avoid the fanny pack and American flag shirts) but being a young, white, blondish, person labels me as an outsider.  

I find that this perception causes an influx of people wanting me to give them money or buy things from them.  It’s true that the exchange rate from dollars to Durhams is in my favor, but I am in no way rich or able to spend over my budget.  Part of our orientation discussed this aspect of people asking and expecting money from foreigners.  I mean, why else would we be there?  The term “volunteer” is hard to translate and many people don’t understand why someone would work for free.  While I am aware of these perceptions, it does not change the fact that walking down the street or sitting at the café can cause some painful interactions. 

The Hungry and Homeless:

Everyday as I walk to work I see people begging for money and food.  There is a mix of men, women, old, young, mentally and physically disabled, and everyone that looks "normal".  I find that people are more reluctant to give money or food to adults on the street due to mistrust and wonder of what they did to get themselves into this situation.  Was it drugs, alcohol, laziness?  Why is it we assume the worst about people and let those assumptions dictate whether or not we help them?  I try very hard not to make these assumptions but I recognize that I am selective in my giving only to women.  This is based on my personal belief that life is harder for women then men in this country.   

Weather it be in America or Morocco, I do the same thing when I see someone asking for help on the street; I give them something to eat.  I hope that if they save a bit of money on food they can save up for whatever it is they need to move onto a better place.  However, food still costs money and I am in a tight, you have no income, budget so the lengths of what I can give is hindered.  Luckily for me I have a family that feeds me to excess.  Everyday after breakfast my mom insists I take a banana, apple, orange, or a wafer bar to work with me (sometimes all of the above).  I am so full from every other meal that I can’t finish all that is given to me.  So I hand off some of my snacks to the people on the street.  It’s not much, but it’s what I can do.  

One day, my coworker noticed me doing this and they told me not to bother.  They too used to give food to the poor until they watched one person take back the food they gave them in exchange for money.  This turned them off from giving again in the same manner.  I urged them to not be dissuaded by the actions of one person.  This conversation turned into many as we talked about the religious laws about not begging and about helping the needy.  To sum up, we chastise the poor for asking for help, saying “it’s against the religion”, but in turn don’t rebuke those who don’t help them as instructed.

The Children:

I’ve seen it before and I knew I’d see it again.  Children working on the street trying to sell anything they can to make a bit of money.  Some do it because they are orphans and it’s their only choice, some do it with parents looking on pressuring them to make a sale.  Whatever the reason, it doesn’t make it any easier to see someone so young doing this kind of job. 

Of course it’s easy for me to judge as I sit at my corner café and sip my tea.  I was raised with two parents who could support me and give me whatever I needed.  Not only that, I was born in a country that works to take care of it’s children with programs like WIC and the School Lunch Program.  So yes it’s easy for me to look upon these parents who have their kids selling items instead of watching them play and learn, because I’ve never been in their shoes.  I imagine it has to be incredibly painful to watch your child do this work.  I also imagine that it’s worse to send your child to bed hungry or cold. 

I know how I react to seeing children who are on the streets and in need of help.  Whose heart doesn’t hurt to see a child in that position?  I think the fact that we pity children and want to buy or give them whatever we can is the exact reason why parents send their kids to do it, they know it works!  Those little heartstrings don’t let you pass by unaffected and yet if you handout money or food you’re perpetuating the cycle of using children to get something, which will keep them on the street as support their family money.  This is a lose-lose situation and I never could find an answer that would help the kids in need.  

Irony - can you give me money?

I am aware of the fact that I myself have asked from money for this trip.  I saved and budgeted but knew that I would not be able to do this all alone.  I put a GoFundMe page up and made this blog.  I wanted to show people what their money would be going towards if they donated to me.  I also wanted to show a side of a country and culture that I know many people have not seen.  I am forever grateful for all those who donated to my page and helped me reach my goal.  I hope that this blog and my letters have made you smile or taught you something about a new place.  I hope this post reminds many of you how good we have it in America.  

Happy Easter Everyone!