Dagnabbit!

Those moments when you just have to say “dagnabbit!”.  Anyone who travels will tell you to expect the unexpected.  I’m a Girl Scout, being prepared is our motto (okay, well it’s really the Boy Scouts motto but I’m not using the real Girl Scout motto of “sell more cookies!”).  However, shit happens, things break, and unexpected costs arise.  As much as me or any other traveler would like to say they are prepared for anything (because I did bring duck tape) it’s most likely not going to be the case.  Here is a list of things that caused me to say “dagnabbit!” on this trip so far:

·    Computer is Blue – I don’t mean sad or depressed, I mean it’s blue.  Sometime in the first month of being here my laptop screen went wacky and all the colors turned black, blue, and red all over (this is sadly not a start of a joke).  It made it very hard to read anything or work.  When I took it to the Apple certified store they told me that it was the motherboard and it would cost hundreds of dollars and take a month to send it out to get fixed.  I followed up with a tech geek back home who confirmed the theory (thanks Aaron! Geek is a complement!).  I had to have a computer for work and couldn’t afford to send it away for a month.  Six weeks of this color cluster late my computer screen fixed itself.  It was a Christmas miracle! OR I dropped in the right spot and the motherboard readjusted.  Dagnabbit! – Why did I spend all that time and money to have someone say they can’t really fix it and then it just fixes itself!

·    Computer Charger – This was something that did not get a miracle and fix itself.  My computer charger just flat out stopped working.  Even after I ducked taped it!  Nothing to do but go back to the tech store for a new one.  Dagnabbit! – Why is Apple so expensive!  

·      DVD's that Destroy Computers – I was downloading a video off a DVD to put on YouTube for work when all of a sudden my computer started making the noise of a strangled animal.  I was about to take my third trip to the tech store after 20 stressful minutes of my computer trying to eat the DVD.  I believe sweating and swearing at it finally caused the demon noise to stop and the disk popped out.  Dagnabbit! – This computer has been through too much!

·      The Internet – is broken ALL THE TIME!  The work wifi is a joke and I didn’t have Internet at home for the first 10 weeks.  This caused me to purchase my own portable modem to get Internet at work and home.  Dagnabbit! – You want how much for a modem?!

·      INWI Modem – That portable modem was not all it’s cracked up to be.  The thing takes forever to get going and dies multiple times throughout the day.  I have come close to chucking it out the window or smashing it to bits with my foot.  Dagnabbit! – Why did I send money on this again?

"WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?!"

·      Umbrella – This was a pathetic excuse for an umbrella to begin with.  People would laugh at how small and useless it was.  Since I am here during the rainy season, it was imperative I get a new one to avoid hypothermia as I sat at work in soaking wet clothes.  Dagnabbit! – I look so pathetic!  

“I need an upgrade.”

·     Gloves and Hat – have holes in them.  Several in fact.  Several holes that let out precious heat when you are cold and wet from your crap umbrella. Dagnabbit! – Where’s the duck tape!

·      My hair – is breaking off.  Turns out my shampoo and conditioner hate the water here.  Morocco has very hard water and after reading several articles about it I learned that the chemicals in the hard water could cause shampoo and conditioner to not rinse out.  My hair was waxy, breaking, and I could barely run a brush through it.  Time to get new shampoo and conditioner.  Dagnabbit! – I was wearing hats and my hair up for way too long because of this! My hair hurts.

"On the plus side I got a pretty scarf to cover my hair"

·      Hairbrush – it literally broke because of my hair!  The teeth were popping off in my rats nest hair and the soap build up was caked on to the rest of the brush.  Dagnabbit! – My hair was seriously gross.

·      My Face – is pealing off.  Remember the part about the hard water?  Yup, it causes skin issues too for those not accustomed to it.  Had to stop washing my face with the water and instead just use Clean and Clear cleaning cloths (say that five times fast).  Dagnabbit! – I don’t want to spend more money on these so I started cutting each sheet in half.

·      My Pants – are problematic in this weather.  It’s not exactly hot here and the linen pants I brought have this issue of letting ALL the air in.  Dagnabbit! – Need to buy more leggings and wool socks to keep warm in Africa. Go figure.  

·     Disintegrating Shoes – Three pairs of shoes/boots have broken here.  The first to go were my hiking boots in the desert.  Then the Toms soles escaped.  Last, my favorite boots were losing their bottoms and letting in water.  Couldn’t do anything about the first two, but I could save the boots with a trip to the cobbler.  Dagnabbit! – I loved those hiking boots! 

“On the plus side I got to take some of the desert sand home with me in my new heal compartment”

·      Zipper – Leather is one of the specialties in Moroccan.  Purses are kind of my thing.  So obviously I would be getting a leather purse in Morocco.  Fun fact: zippers are NOT a specialty in Morocco.  The zipper on my new purse has broken 3 times now.  I have taken it back to the guy who sold it to me and he fixed it for free the first 2 times.  Dagnabbit! – Third strike your out and I had to pay to fix it.

"On the bright side it's pretty"

·      Paper Cuts – into your wallet.  Paper is expensive here.  So is the majority of office supplies.  When working with the childcare group we wanted to buy them some more school supplies and were a bit sticker shocked when we saw how much markers were.  At work I don’t always have access to the printer so if I need something quickly I have to pay to get it printed.  Dagnabbit! – I should have filled my bag with office supplies and sold it here. I would have made a fortune!

 

·     Taxi Meters – Small taxies in Morocco are supposed to have meters to track how much the ride is.  The problem is when you come across one that doesn’t have a meter or one that all of a sudden breaks.  You can fight with them about cost all you want, but when I’m traveling alone I don’t have much luck on getting them to “fix the meter” or give me a fair price.  Dagnabbit! – I was saving that money for a cookie!

·      Café Menus – Many cafés don’t have menus and you just order what you want (usually tea or coffee and pick from an assortment of sweets).  I understand that I look different and suck at Arabic so you think I won’t notice the change in price.  And you’re right, I’m sure I don’t notice I paid more until I ask someone else how much they paid.  Dagnabbit! – That cookie was way too expensive!

"I shared!" 

·     Key Chains – Five key chains have broken while in my custody in Morocco!  From hotel keys on the weekends to my home key in Rabat, almost all keys that have key chains on them have been destroyed.  Okay, one breaking is a mistake, two is bad luck, five might be my fault.  Dagnabbit! – I guess I didn’t know how strong my hands are.   

“Seriously, does this need to be so big?”

·     My Bank Account – Dagnabbit! – Where did the money go?

I have enjoyed my time in Morocco and am learning a lot! Many of you know that I’m funding  this volunteer program out of my own pocket.  I created a GoFundMe page when I started and I am so thankful for everyone who has donated!  I am truly blessed to have so many great friends and family.  Unfortunately, Morocco has had some unexpected expenses and things are getting a bit tight.  I hope to raise some money to help pay for the normal expenses that a paycheck usually covers. 

Thank you again to everyone who has already donated!  It truly means a lot to me!  

I hope to see you all in April when I return!

Lots of Love, Caity/Donia 

http://www.gofundme.com/

TV Time

Oh look I missed another big American TV event.  I’m sure the Super Bowl, award shows, and Brian Williams was as fascinating as you guys make it sound on Facebook.  In honor of this quality American programing I will be talking about television today. 

During my orientation class the facilitators told us that television is a big part of life here and to expect it always to be on in the home.  I reminisced about my own up bringing and how the television was always on and knew this wouldn’t be a problem.  I envisioned me watching TV here and improving upon my French and Arabic language skills.  TV would actually be educational again (like the Magic school bus or Reading Rainbow)!  Well, I have learned something from Moroccan Television, just not what I was expecting.  Here is what we watch and what I’ve learned in my 100+ days here.

News:

The news is a straight forward, no fluff, and no nonsense kind of news.  They show only a few clips for each piece and the news anchor just reports the facts (*cough* Brian Williams).  There are other shows that have the talk, gossip, entertainment and cooking, they are just not on the news.  There is usually only one news anchor at a time and no small talk with each other in between segments.  It’s pretty 50/50 on men and women reporting the news, weather, and sports.  Also, the women on the news get to wear pants.  I notice these odd things because when I watch the Today show I NEVER see the women wearing pants.  Small rant – when did The Today Show turn into a “news program” that reported news only 10% of the time?  Was it when Katie Couric left?  I think she was allowed to wear pants. 

Back to the News – the weather portion of the news is very in-depth with reporting on the highs and lows for the week, the wind coming off the ocean, footage of people in the one place that has snow in Morocco, and then a look at weather from around the world.

"This is confusing to me"

The sports section might be the only place in the regular news broadcast where the reporter has a little fun.  Of course 90% of the sports news is on soccer football.  I find this the best way to watch football as they only show you the good parts when something actually happens.    

What I’ve learned form the News: they like to report on snow as much as Minnesotans.

Entertainment:

My parents don’t watch anything like E, TMZ, or any other Hollywood type shows and for that I’m grateful.  On a typical Friday or Saturday nights you'll find them watching a Music Variety Show.  Lots of talking, singing, some dancing, a live audience, and an over enthusiastic host.  The visual affects are also interesting.  Think ABBA music videos in the 70’s and you’ll get a good idea of what they look like.

“Major differences is the lack of psychedelic drugs”

There is always a violin player as one of the main performers on the show (they play the violin on their knee instead of their shoulder).  After watching a couple of them I thought my parents would like to see a Lindsay Sterling music video of her playing and dancing around.  Less than a minute in they Kanye Wested me because their show was back on.   

“I’mma let you finish but first this Moroccan player is the best player!”

And of course for entertainment we watch soccer football! When it comes to football we are a house divided (mainly because I the kind of person who will always cheer for the other team to make things interesting).  The first game we watched together was Rabat vs. Casablanca.  Earlier in the week I had bought a towel that was green and white (obviously) and had a soccer ball on it.  When the game came on I figured out that my towel was for the Casablanca team.  I was so excited I ran to get my towel to watch the  game with.

“You could call it a Casa-blanka!”

Sadly my team lost, but we had a blast watching the game and being soccer hooligans when our teams scored a goal.

What I’ve learned form Entertainment programs: I’m a sore loser even in sports I don’t care about.

Reality TV:

You can’t escape it. It’s everywhere! Lucky for me my family watches decent ones and nothing like a Kardashian crap.  We have watched Arabic Master Chef, Arabs Got Talent, Arab Idol, and an crafting show that looks like Project Runway with crafts instead of clothes.  

What I’ve learned form Reality TV: that I like the Arab versions of these shows better then in America.  Mostly it's because I can’t understand the judges and I just get to watch/listen to the talent instead of their commentary.  I think I will mute the American judges when I get home.

Soap Operas:

The soap operas are so freaking cheesy they make Days of Our Lives look normal.  A common theme in these shows is drinking being the cause of peoples problems.  They drink, get drunk, and then do bad things (like beating their wife, or hitting someone with their car, or getting a hooker) or bad things happen to them (like getting beat, hit by a car, or being a hooker).  This is when I wish I understood a bit more of the plot so I didn't look like this all the time. 

About two months into my time in Morocco I observed that there was no kissing on TV.  This doesn't mean there is NO kissing on TV, it means that when there is my mom changes the channel.  For all the girls in my Bachelor League back home – this is why I can’t watch the show in front of them! THE HORROR!

What I’ve learned from Soap Operas: Don’t drink. Ever. HAHAHAHAHHA, yeah that won’t work.

Turkish Dramas:

The best thing on TV is Turkish Dramas.  This is what I look forward to watching everyday at teatime.  This is why

“Yes please”

Turkey has an influx of gorgeous men with eyes I want to gaze longing into and hair I want to run my fingers through.

“Seriously they must go through condition like crazy”

It doesn’t matter that I don’t understand what they are saying or that the dubbing can be off, I can feel the pent up sexual frustration as they stare into each other’s eyes. 

“He’s in uniform, she’s in a pretty dress, and their dancing at a ball! What more can you want?!”

By far the best one is Kurt Seyt & Shura.  I managed to find season one’s first few episodes online with English subtitles.  I screamed I WANT MORE when I ran out  

“Hipsters eat your heart out. You will never have this great of a beard!”

The other great thing about watching Turkish dramas is that they show them in binge watching fashion.  They shows have already aired in Turkey and therefore they can show one a day, five days a week, for around 6-8 straight weeks.  No waiting for Scandal to come on once a week, I get to see the drama everyday!  Kurt Seyt & Shura is now over but now I get to watch a new show about diamonds and the mob.  Exciting!

What I’ve learned from Turkish Dramas:  I need to go to Turkey.

Commercials/Promos :

Since we watch a lot of TV that means we also watch a lot of commercials.  I don’t think DVRs have made there way over here so I have to reteach myself how to sit still through them. 

Positives about Moroccan commercials – no pharmaceutical advertisements, women are not used as sex objects to sell hamburgers, no crying at Sarah McLachlan “Arms of an Angel” animal shelter, and no political campaigns. 

Negatives about Moroccan commercials – there are hundreds of hair ads that tell me to use garlic, aloe, honey, black seeds, green leaves, and oil to make my hair less shitty.  That’s it. They make my hair feel sad.

The promos for shows coming up are a works of art.  They make me want to watch ALL the TV!  Again, I don’t speak the language but their use of editing and sound makes everything look cool!  I tried to find one on YouTube to show as an example, but then got distracted by YouTube.

What I’ve learned from commercials: my hair is inferior and I need to watch more TV.

American:

Lastly, American TV (I bet we’re not used to being last in anything, except maybe soccer).  There is a channel that has a host of random American TV shows with subtitles in Arabic.  No kidding, there was an ad for Grey’s Anatomy, Glee, and Grim in one commercial break.  They must have a thing for the G shows.  They also have Discovery type shows that show the culture and history from different parts of the Americas.  One day we were watching the history of Blues music in the south and my host mom was tapping her foot right along enjoying the song.  I sat there smiling as the man on TV sang about his woman and how he was going to get lucky tonight.  Glad they chose not to subtitle that part.

What I’ve learned from American TV: Nothing. I’ve watched too much of it and now am immune to any lessons they might provide.  BUT I do see how my family learns a bit about my culture and I help correct some inaccuracies with shows like Grey’s Anatomy.

Speaking of American TV, I did catch the Budweiser commercial from a post on Facebook.  Screw the bachelor farmer I want to marry this one!

"He has a horse and a dog!"

What I’ve learned from Moroccan TV: While television might not have taught me how to speak the language it did teach me a host of other things.  More importantly, it’s how we spend time together as a family laughing and learning from each other.  I would not trade that for anything.

Bonus video for reading to the end!  I was on the news with this clip from December 1^st World Aids Day story.  You can see me in the background for 1 second. I’m the white girl in the plaid.

It was very exciting  

Love From Madrid!

"You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here."  This is what the Moroccan government told me.  Well not really but it’s close enough.  I have been in Morocco for 3 months and now I must take my leave on a Visa run!  This is the preferred method for people staying in Morocco for over 90 days.  Applying for a Visa can take a considerable about of time and effort and aint nobody got time for that.  I checked out the cheep airlines and found a flight to Madrid, Spain.  I knew the most important word in Spanish, queso (cheese), so I felt good about surviving in Spain. Turns out that I Love Madrid!

In honor of Valentines Day let me count they ways in which I Love Madrid!

1)    Tapas

If you are unaware of Tapas prepare for your stomachs to be blown!  Tapas is the delicious cuisine that is a variety of appetizers or snacks.  Pretty much it is the sampler appetizer menu for dinner and you get to pick and choose everything on it!  I’m talking if you want to get guacamole, pancakes, cheese, and wine in one meal no problem!  Tapas small portion options are great for a picky eater who might want to try something new but don’t want to risk a whole plate of it.  Beware though, Tapas is a bit like  a bag of “fun size” candy bars – you don’t feel like you are eating a lot but then you look down and the whole bag is gone.  

The best place for Tapas was the Cafeteria next to the Plaza Mayor Square.  It was my Disneyland. 

I did my first lap of the place to search out what I wanted and then I went in for the kill (the happy, shovel my face with food kind of kill).  Here is what I got for brunch. 

“Spinach pie, cheese pie, cashews, cheese, chips and beer.  All part of a nutritious breakfast!”

Madrid is also amazing at hot chocolate.  It’s JUST melted chocolate in a glass!  I admit to being overwhelmed and confused when they handed me a glass full of melted chocolate and people were just drinking it down with no problem.  I opted to add a bit of milk to mine in order to finish drinking it all.  I’m so ashamed.

"How is this not in America?"

I want Tapas everyday for the rest of my life.

2)    Cheese/Queso

Tapas is also amazing because it allows me to eat lots of cheese! 

"decisions, decisions... I will have them all!"

I got this cheese plate for lunch one day and it was glorious.  I was also very happy that the restaurant was loud so fellow restaurateurs couldn’t hear how much I was enjoying each and every bite.

3)    Wine

Wine is my friend.  We have a very long and meaningful relationship.  Rioja wine was my preferred poison on this trip and it never disappointed.

“Roses are red. Wine is also red. Poems are hard. Wine.”

4)    Museums

I hardcore got my culture on in this city! I visited the famous Del Padro museum where I figured out one of my favorite painting is also really freaking famous.

"I always imagined being this little girl. Total Diva.”

Other greats I got to base upon were there from Rembrandt, Raphael, Ruben, and a special Goya exhibit.  There are no photos allowed in this museum so you have to Google if you want to see art and stuff.  Instead here is a photo of me next to a tree. 

“Just because I look pretty… like art.”

Next I visited the modern art museum Reina Sofia where I saw Pablo Picasso and Salvador Dali.  Those two dudes had some weird ass paintings, but I dig it.

Also featured in the museum was this commentary on American politics. 

"tehehehe"

And then there is just me playing with the modern art.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrr"

Last I hit up this glass museum where this dead lady was chilling with all her hoarder treasures. 

“Creepy and a warning (mom) to not die surrounded by your stuff.”

5)    Royal Palace

This was the first royal palace I’ve ever been to and I have to say that I’m a fan. I think I will try to get one of these bad boys for myself.

“I’ve already picked out my room”

While I was there I also got to see the royal horse guard practice ridding horses… so that was neat.

If anyone is planning a visit to my new home, I would highly recommend getting on one of the tours.  The staff were amazingly knowledgeable and made the experience so much better by pointing out all the little details of the freakishly expensive rooms.  Of course, they also make it a lot harder to steal things.  

"I should paint this in the bathroom"

They only let you photograph the outside and the front hall of the Palace.  I will have to get ride of that rule when I move in so I can Instagram all my riches.

“Bitch get out of my house”

6)    Clean Streets

“Checkout that recycling! Go Green!”

The streets don’t smell like piss! The streets don’t have trash everywhere! The streets don’t have major holes in the ground. The streets have drivers that follow traffic laws!  The streets have dogs on leashes and owners. What a concept! What a city.

7)    Nice people with nice dogs

Madridians (I’m going to pretend that’s what they are called) are very nice people.  Maybe it was because I kept muttering “queso” to people while trying to remember any other words in Spanish like “I’m lost”.  Luckily everyone seemed to see that the struggle was real and helped me get where I wanted to go.

Did I mention that they have dogs in Madrid?! And they actually like them!  Whoa what a concept! (confused? Click here)

Last but not least, there was NO catcalling!!! Men left me blissfully alone on this trip! Freedom!

8)    Squares are not just fun shapes

No matter where I was in Madrid every few blocks I would come across a square.  Each one had a landmark or stature that spoke to the history of that place.

Each square had coffee houses, restaurants and a few shops, making them great areas to go and people watch.  Plus, with people always hanging around it made me feel like I was never alone in the city and was a safe place to be at night.   This might sound like one of the saddest reasons to love a city, but after lots of dark winding alleyways, a well-lit open space is a nice change. 

9)    Beautiful architecture and history everywhere

Everywhere you turn in Madrid you see another beautiful building or piece of history.  It might have been cold and rainy while I was there but I still enjoyed my time outside checking out the cities parks, statues, churches, and other buildings.  

10)    The Taste of America

I was once told a story of a magical store in Spain where American foods and candy were sold.  Gold Fish, popcorn, ranch dressing, and more graced the shelves of this beautiful store and gave people a taste of the processed food that is America.  I had to see this place.  So I made my pilgrimage on the metro to this famed store and see for myself what treasures it held. 

And what riches did I find?  Behold!

"I got the Blues!" 

The Holy Grail! Kraft Mac & Cheese!  I contemplated buying out the stores stock of Mac but then thought I would be robbing the good people of Madrid the delicious treat.  As I walked away from the dream like store, I had a huge smile on my face and giggled (slightly crazy like) to myself at my great fortune.  Now my only problem is how I’m going to cook this marvelously cuisine without having to share it with anyone… 

I special thanks for Mike and Lita for my Christmas present to Spain where I could eat all the cheese and wine as my heart desired.  Love you guys!