TV Time

Oh look I missed another big American TV event.  I’m sure the Super Bowl, award shows, and Brian Williams was as fascinating as you guys make it sound on Facebook.  In honor of this quality American programing I will be talking about television today. 

During my orientation class the facilitators told us that television is a big part of life here and to expect it always to be on in the home.  I reminisced about my own up bringing and how the television was always on and knew this wouldn’t be a problem.  I envisioned me watching TV here and improving upon my French and Arabic language skills.  TV would actually be educational again (like the Magic school bus or Reading Rainbow)!  Well, I have learned something from Moroccan Television, just not what I was expecting.  Here is what we watch and what I’ve learned in my 100+ days here.

News:

The news is a straight forward, no fluff, and no nonsense kind of news.  They show only a few clips for each piece and the news anchor just reports the facts (*cough* Brian Williams).  There are other shows that have the talk, gossip, entertainment and cooking, they are just not on the news.  There is usually only one news anchor at a time and no small talk with each other in between segments.  It’s pretty 50/50 on men and women reporting the news, weather, and sports.  Also, the women on the news get to wear pants.  I notice these odd things because when I watch the Today show I NEVER see the women wearing pants.  Small rant – when did The Today Show turn into a “news program” that reported news only 10% of the time?  Was it when Katie Couric left?  I think she was allowed to wear pants. 

Back to the News – the weather portion of the news is very in-depth with reporting on the highs and lows for the week, the wind coming off the ocean, footage of people in the one place that has snow in Morocco, and then a look at weather from around the world.

"This is confusing to me"

The sports section might be the only place in the regular news broadcast where the reporter has a little fun.  Of course 90% of the sports news is on soccer football.  I find this the best way to watch football as they only show you the good parts when something actually happens.    

What I’ve learned form the News: they like to report on snow as much as Minnesotans.

Entertainment:

My parents don’t watch anything like E, TMZ, or any other Hollywood type shows and for that I’m grateful.  On a typical Friday or Saturday nights you'll find them watching a Music Variety Show.  Lots of talking, singing, some dancing, a live audience, and an over enthusiastic host.  The visual affects are also interesting.  Think ABBA music videos in the 70’s and you’ll get a good idea of what they look like.

“Major differences is the lack of psychedelic drugs”

There is always a violin player as one of the main performers on the show (they play the violin on their knee instead of their shoulder).  After watching a couple of them I thought my parents would like to see a Lindsay Sterling music video of her playing and dancing around.  Less than a minute in they Kanye Wested me because their show was back on.   

“I’mma let you finish but first this Moroccan player is the best player!”

And of course for entertainment we watch soccer football! When it comes to football we are a house divided (mainly because I the kind of person who will always cheer for the other team to make things interesting).  The first game we watched together was Rabat vs. Casablanca.  Earlier in the week I had bought a towel that was green and white (obviously) and had a soccer ball on it.  When the game came on I figured out that my towel was for the Casablanca team.  I was so excited I ran to get my towel to watch the  game with.

“You could call it a Casa-blanka!”

Sadly my team lost, but we had a blast watching the game and being soccer hooligans when our teams scored a goal.

What I’ve learned form Entertainment programs: I’m a sore loser even in sports I don’t care about.

Reality TV:

You can’t escape it. It’s everywhere! Lucky for me my family watches decent ones and nothing like a Kardashian crap.  We have watched Arabic Master Chef, Arabs Got Talent, Arab Idol, and an crafting show that looks like Project Runway with crafts instead of clothes.  

What I’ve learned form Reality TV: that I like the Arab versions of these shows better then in America.  Mostly it's because I can’t understand the judges and I just get to watch/listen to the talent instead of their commentary.  I think I will mute the American judges when I get home.

Soap Operas:

The soap operas are so freaking cheesy they make Days of Our Lives look normal.  A common theme in these shows is drinking being the cause of peoples problems.  They drink, get drunk, and then do bad things (like beating their wife, or hitting someone with their car, or getting a hooker) or bad things happen to them (like getting beat, hit by a car, or being a hooker).  This is when I wish I understood a bit more of the plot so I didn't look like this all the time. 

About two months into my time in Morocco I observed that there was no kissing on TV.  This doesn't mean there is NO kissing on TV, it means that when there is my mom changes the channel.  For all the girls in my Bachelor League back home – this is why I can’t watch the show in front of them! THE HORROR!

What I’ve learned from Soap Operas: Don’t drink. Ever. HAHAHAHAHHA, yeah that won’t work.

Turkish Dramas:

The best thing on TV is Turkish Dramas.  This is what I look forward to watching everyday at teatime.  This is why

“Yes please”

Turkey has an influx of gorgeous men with eyes I want to gaze longing into and hair I want to run my fingers through.

“Seriously they must go through condition like crazy”

It doesn’t matter that I don’t understand what they are saying or that the dubbing can be off, I can feel the pent up sexual frustration as they stare into each other’s eyes. 

“He’s in uniform, she’s in a pretty dress, and their dancing at a ball! What more can you want?!”

By far the best one is Kurt Seyt & Shura.  I managed to find season one’s first few episodes online with English subtitles.  I screamed I WANT MORE when I ran out  

“Hipsters eat your heart out. You will never have this great of a beard!”

The other great thing about watching Turkish dramas is that they show them in binge watching fashion.  They shows have already aired in Turkey and therefore they can show one a day, five days a week, for around 6-8 straight weeks.  No waiting for Scandal to come on once a week, I get to see the drama everyday!  Kurt Seyt & Shura is now over but now I get to watch a new show about diamonds and the mob.  Exciting!

What I’ve learned from Turkish Dramas:  I need to go to Turkey.

Commercials/Promos :

Since we watch a lot of TV that means we also watch a lot of commercials.  I don’t think DVRs have made there way over here so I have to reteach myself how to sit still through them. 

Positives about Moroccan commercials – no pharmaceutical advertisements, women are not used as sex objects to sell hamburgers, no crying at Sarah McLachlan “Arms of an Angel” animal shelter, and no political campaigns. 

Negatives about Moroccan commercials – there are hundreds of hair ads that tell me to use garlic, aloe, honey, black seeds, green leaves, and oil to make my hair less shitty.  That’s it. They make my hair feel sad.

The promos for shows coming up are a works of art.  They make me want to watch ALL the TV!  Again, I don’t speak the language but their use of editing and sound makes everything look cool!  I tried to find one on YouTube to show as an example, but then got distracted by YouTube.

What I’ve learned from commercials: my hair is inferior and I need to watch more TV.

American:

Lastly, American TV (I bet we’re not used to being last in anything, except maybe soccer).  There is a channel that has a host of random American TV shows with subtitles in Arabic.  No kidding, there was an ad for Grey’s Anatomy, Glee, and Grim in one commercial break.  They must have a thing for the G shows.  They also have Discovery type shows that show the culture and history from different parts of the Americas.  One day we were watching the history of Blues music in the south and my host mom was tapping her foot right along enjoying the song.  I sat there smiling as the man on TV sang about his woman and how he was going to get lucky tonight.  Glad they chose not to subtitle that part.

What I’ve learned from American TV: Nothing. I’ve watched too much of it and now am immune to any lessons they might provide.  BUT I do see how my family learns a bit about my culture and I help correct some inaccuracies with shows like Grey’s Anatomy.

Speaking of American TV, I did catch the Budweiser commercial from a post on Facebook.  Screw the bachelor farmer I want to marry this one!

"He has a horse and a dog!"

What I’ve learned from Moroccan TV: While television might not have taught me how to speak the language it did teach me a host of other things.  More importantly, it’s how we spend time together as a family laughing and learning from each other.  I would not trade that for anything.

Bonus video for reading to the end!  I was on the news with this clip from December 1^st World Aids Day story.  You can see me in the background for 1 second. I’m the white girl in the plaid.

It was very exciting